Dearest Local Retailer.

Written August 8, 2009

I have a bit of a concern because I think you seem to have forgotten about me. Which is odd because I have money to burn and adore dressing myself with new clothes as soon as my paycheck arrives. Sometimes, I go mad and blow my paycheck before it even arrives. I'm the woman who's been approved for a visa and yet still has the lack of control like a teenager. Which means when I go on these black out shopping binges, I can wrack my visa up so high the minimum payment is daunting enough. Forget the overall balance. (I do, trust me, it feels better.)

But let me remind you, Mr. Retailer, I am a woman. Not a teenager on a budget. These thick legs, wide hips and round bottom usually tend to work well for me - until that is, I walk into your store. Where are these 5'9, 105 pound stick figured women you're designing for? You can't show off your jeans when you're puking in the bathroom.

How is 0 or 00 a size? How can I be holding something in my hand that says 0? Nothing is Nothing. I can't hold nothing. Mothers will have to change what they tell their daughters. "Never aspire to amount to nothing - unless of course you're going shopping." It's funny, on some rating scales 8, 9, 10...these are all good numbers. On your rating scale Mr. Retailer I'm a fat cow.

And while I've got you listening, I don't want to hide my shape either. These angular, boxy, cloth with a hole for the head sheet things you're making for us don't entice me either. I am not ashamed of being a woman. I am not ashamed of eating. So don't punish me with mom jeans and cardigan sets.

Contrary to popular belief, you might need to sit down for this one, I LIKE my hips. I LIKE my fat bottom, I LIKE my small waist. I don't actually want to be a size 0. Stop marketing these women, these sizes and these ideals to me. At the end of the day all I want from a shopping trip is a couple of buttery croissants and a few tight pencil skirts to go with it!

I close my letter to you now with the hopes of your understanding. While my anticipation of shopping is burning up, Mr. Retailer, what your stocking your stores with is cooling my visa down. Give it a whirl.
Love and Concern,
Tara Sue.