Christmas....Scrooge?

Man. I'm just not feeling Christmas this year.
Are you? Are we collectively not feeling Christmas?

I've just kind of become overly disgusted with the commercial aspect of the whole thing. I've become overly disgusted with the commercial aspect of life in general but I suppose maybe I lifted my head this year and really saw it. People dying at Walmart? Honestly. We need a fucking grip on what's important. And it's not Wii Stations and Tickle Me Elmos. I promise you.

My Christmas sort of fell apart before it even got started. This well needed recession (I'll tackle that in another post) fucked with my paycheck. The snow fucked with my plans. And in the end I really just didn't give a shit. Isn't my love enough? Do you need a box of Turtles to prove it?

I decided I was going to bake for my loved ones. I thought that was a really thoughtful gift and the more I told people the more I heard things like "Yeah, I'll bake for the gifts that don't really matter..." which I thought was completely backwards but suddenly found myself in a mall, screaming at my boyfriend and buying as much crap as I could find to shove in front of my loved ones just so I'm not the asshole who shows up with a thoughtful gift instead of a purchased one.

Which leads me to my guilt of not being able to provide someone with all the lavishness they deserve. I gave Tim his gifts in order of how bad they were. They were honestly terrible. He's just too nice to admit that towels are not the equivalent of a necklace from Tiffany's. Yes, I bought my boyfriend bath towels. I'm telling you this Christmas was a complete and total write off.

I actually want to swear off Christmas. Make some sort of stand against it. I think Jesus would be with me here. You guys remember who Jesus is, right? I want a quaint Christmas full of exchanging fruit cakes and meeting at Midnight Mass. I don't even like God, but it sounds a lot better than what we've come to.

Forget it. If you need me I'll be over at the bar making sure there's enough wine and whiskey to get us through this holiday hell.

Well Hello!

Wow.

I'd been thinking about this dusty old blog for a while now. I created it years ago as a secret outlet for venting against the ill mannered boys who had wronged poor little ol' me. It got old quickly, as those things obviously would and I got distracted and moved on to the next thing that interested me as I often do.

So today I finally figured out all my passwords and I was gonna check up and laugh, or get re-acquainted with my anger in my old documented memories of wayward suitors. And to my delightful shock - it's all gone! As it should be. Now I can remember those men as I choose, which is in a lighter aspect than what was written here. Best for me and for them.

I've been blogging for years. With a years worth of a break as well. From around 19-23ish I was quite the hardcore, self indulgent little blogger. For the last 4 years I've been busy with a business and business with boys. And I miss this a lot. My corner. My space. My thoughts. Me. Me. Me. Goddamnit.

So I wish I came out with a splash but it's more like a peak from behind a door. As usual blogs are filled with whatever is happening in that time and space, so I have no idea what's gonna be in here. But let's hope I make it good! ;)